The idea that partners shouldn’t be needy and should be independent creates a lack of security in the relationship. Often, there’s a war of independence going on in relationships that is fought for no good reason.
Meet Kim and Kevin.
Kim and Kevin were on the verge of breaking up. Neither of them wanted to end things, but they were exhausted from fighting and blaming each other.
Kevin values his quality time with Kim and regularly organizes date nights for them. While Kim does find him sweet, she wants to spend more time with her friends. Kevin says this makes him feel lonely. This makes Kim feel suffocated and exhausted by his “neediness.”
Even at parties, Kim talks with her friends in such a way that Kevin feels left out.
As they were getting into the car after their latest party, this is what happened:
“Why did you even invite me to Jake’s party?” Kevin asks….