Trust is one of the hardest things to build, and one of the easiest to break. But it’s also paramount for a healthy, intimate relationship. If you want to have a long-term, happy, and healthy relationship, prioritizing and maintaining trust is pivotal. Without it, other things, like emotional intimacy and connection, cease to exist.
Marrying or even just moving in together with your partner are both big decisions. And before you do that, we would like you to take some time out and read our take on the closely-related nature of transparency and trust; plus, how you can gain both.
Why does trust mean so much?
When you are in a relationship, you want to feel secure that the other person won’t bail out the moment things go downhill. You want to trust in a relationship, so you know you will have your partner’s back when you need them the most.
Trust is the basis of so many different facets of a healthy relationship, and everything feels better with it. But, there’s bad news, too. People who have been previously betrayed (by cheating exes) tend to be emotionally guarded. And that’s why understanding the value of trust is crucial for both parties.
Don’t settle for less!
It starts off with finding the right partner for yourself. Settle for someone who’s addicted to you and someone who you are addicted to—a case of mutual addiction! I know it’s hard. We want to choose someone we love. But I have seen people living a happier life when they choose someone who loves them, that is, falling in love with a person who loves you.
But don’t settle only for love. A relationship comprises of more than that. It also includes trust—an equipoised one.
And don’t give it in for the red flags. If you are seeing the signs of abuse, infidelity, distrust, etc. early in a relationship, consider yourself lucky and walk away. You think you might never fall in love ever again. But it’s okay if you don’t. It’s better to live alone than to live with the wrong person.
All trust is tied to transparency in the first place
All that debate on trust and transparency makes no sense if you are with the wrong person in the first place. That’s why we had to say all that what we have said. The rest of the article is all about how not to lose your soulmate to dissent and distrust.
The many ways to build trust in a relationship
1. Learn not to be intimidated too easily
Being compulsive and intimidated about who your partner hangs out with, like, their friends or peers, is only going to push them away. You have to learn to share your partner with other people. If he wants to spend time with his friends, it doesn’t mean he loves you any less. Not many times this happens, but if he wants you to meet his friends, it’s a great opportunity not just to get to know the friends but also to stay around him more. Learn to trust your partner with his friends, and he would do the same for you.
2. Yes, quality time means everything
Both partners need to understand the value of one-on-one, quality time. To be in a relationship is, without a doubt, the most intimate of all human relations. And it just doesn’t mean going to the movies or dinner together only; it’s about going anywhere, the two of you, with a priority to talk and listen to each other. When you will do this often, the trust will sprout like those seeds sowed in-ground and forgotten about, later turning into giant trees.
3. Understand each other’s needs
Recently, the internet has made us compare gratitude with submissiveness. People are scared to tell how much they love, fearing it would come to bite them in the ass. We are not only expressing less but are also oblivious to our partner’s needs. Two people in love should try their best to understand each other’s needs. And that’s how it has always been, until recently. Making some comprises is all part of it, like moving your schedule around or being there for him when he needs you.
4. Live up to the commitments
It’s not always possible to show up for a commitment but repeatedly missing out date nights is not the way to gain your partner’s trust. Living up to the promises is one way to tell your partner that you both will be there for each other.
5. Respect each other
This one is a no-brainer, but it takes seconds for respect to slip wayside in a relationship. Partners who yell, criticize, and belittle each other end up losing respect such that it’s next to impossible to rebuild it. Never do this in a relationship!
Bringing in the transparency
If you have been cheated in a relationship, it’s not easy to get over it. The possibility of it never happening again or that it’s still not happening is hard to get off your head. Words of assurance may not enough for you. But you still need to try and give your partner another chance. Because in this life nobody is perfect. You can also give yourself a break so that you can cool yourself down and understand the way forward, to avoid doing anything out of anger. Some couples also make use of a monitoring software on each other’s smartphones to counter the issues of distrust.